If I could pause myself
When you don’t play with me
sink into a thing
just be a thing
I would like that.
It’s all about guesses, not a matter of ‘tell’ and ‘know’.
She took my hand
And when she told me how many lovers I would have in my life, how many heartbreaks
For a second I wondered if she would be one of them
It seemed vulgar when I reminded myself of the cash exchange
And in any case, it was all hanged men, fools,
hierophant – wholly, completely an arsehole.
No, I definitely don’t recognize any of those dudes…
I wished I cared more about other things so I didn’t ask
about whether it was normal to feel as though…
To know to have noticed to have observed objectively that you do not…
To feel as though I can’t…
state my needs.
But I didn’t need a witch for that.
Would she realise
that this was incredibly unusual for me
the way things usually go
the illusion of power I normally have
but that all of this has more weight than anything
But I suppose she’d care even less than others.
Nothing’s funny any more.
When I’m a hermit,
and I most need the King of my Cups.
Perhaps I should have stayed at home
with my curly fish
and the last of my minuscule ‘fortune’.